Monday, November 14, 2005

That Last Little Bit Of Incentive

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Okay, I do feel kind of like a dick for saying anything about this, but Bruce Willis has made it public that he will offer the handsome reward of one million dollars for information on the whereabouts of al-Qaeda leaders Osama Bin Laden, Ayman Al-zawahiri, or Abu Musab Al-zarqawi.

Why do you feel like a dick, Michael?

Well, for starters, why the fuck does this million dollar reward offered four years, two months, and two days after the fact need to be made? I mean, what's the significance of the timing of this offer?

Is anybody else like me on this and imagining Bruce Willis stunned by 9/11, so much so that he sits transfixed on his television's replaying of the tragedy around the clock for four years, two months, and two days, and then finally snapping out of it and going, "Oh my god, I will offer one million dollars for information on the persons responsible! This is a fucking outrage!"

That can't be what happened, can it? He's been in some movies since 9/11, hasn't he? So that pretty much proves he hasn't been lying on his couch for over four years, unaware that the world has gone through a whole plethora of significant events.

The government agencies are already offering rewards of 25 million dollars for the same information. So then you have to wonder if that one million dollar added bonus is the magic amount of money that's finally going to bring the information forward.

Somewhere you just know some guy's got the goods on the al-Qaeda leaders, but he wasn't going to just, you know, give up the information for a measly 25 million dollars. Fuck no. I mean a guy would pretty much be reduced to living on bologna sandwiches for the rest of his life after getting only 25 million. 26 million dollars, now that's where it's at.

It's almost a situation where one million dollars is a moot point, if you can imagine that. If 25 million isn't going to get the information readily, 26 millions probably won't get the information any faster.

Now the other thing that I wanted to touch on was Willis' comments on how you don't see a lot of the good things that are happening in Iraq being reported on in the news. You know, the feel-good war stories? Where the fuck are they?

Indeed, Bruce, where are those feel-good war stories? You'd think that all this war hullaballoo was all serious gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands, people fighting and all that nastiness. Where the hell are the clowns and the tumblers? Methinks we've got a severe shortage of clowns and tumblers in this here war. That must be why people are so darned serious about it. When will the world ever learn?


brodie said...

I got $5 to give to the cause, do you think that'll help?

Michael said...

26 million and five dollars is a pretty sweet deal. That five dollars only makes the information even more valuable. Somebody should really step up to the plate here and claim that money.

Anonymous said...

Its not the 5 smackers that make it more valuable. Its the fact that the 5 bucks are from Brodie.
MONEY THAT BRODIE HAS TOUCHED! people will climb over each other for it.

Michael said...

I work with Brodie in a casino and that what all the people who get money from Brodie say afterwards, that it's money that came from Brodie. People go apeshit over that. It's like getting a Babe Ruth homerun ball or something.

brodie said...

Yea, the granny's with walkers and granpa's with wheelchairs LOVE me! I am the sh*t!