One From The Vaults

Antecedent
the realization that i am not the agent of euphoria
in this relationship.

fear is indeed capable of a slow evolution.

the woman and me, happy.
a slight drinking problem:
she has only been sober once
on all the dates that we have been on.

the woman and me, together.
serious.
a slight problem with paycheques
disappearing up her nose
when i am not around.

the woman and me, tethered.
dire.
an early grave for either one of us:

her from too much chemical indulgence.

or

me from worry, too much stress.

the realization that i am witnessing a car wreck
before it actually happens.

dreams of clawing at vinyl upholstery,
trapped, tied up, spotting a web of seatbelts
smelling gasoline
seeing rainbows on the asphalt.

waiting for fire.

-Michael Appleby
October, 2004