the realization that i am not the agent of euphoria
in this relationship.
fear is indeed capable of a slow evolution.
the woman and me, happy.
a slight drinking problem:
she has only been sober once
on all the dates that we have been on.
the woman and me, together.
a slight problem with paycheques
disappearing up her nose
when i am not around.
the woman and me, tethered.
an early grave for either one of us:
her from too much chemical indulgence.
me from worry, too much stress.
the realization that i am witnessing a car wreck
before it actually happens.
dreams of clawing at vinyl upholstery,
trapped, tied up, spotting a web of seatbelts
seeing rainbows on the asphalt.
waiting for fire.