Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I Don't Think It's A Crime When Your Victim Probably Brags To His Friends About Being Victimized

Debra Lafave.

Debra Lafave. Most of you out there probably aren't familiar with who Debra Lafave is, only that I've mentioned her name twice in my little rant so far, which is two more times than I should given that I haven't established any manner of context for dropping her name like that.

Debra Lafave.

There, now it's three times, suckas, what'cha gonna do about it?

But seriously, Debra Lafave is the somewhat famous Tampa, Florida teacher who had sex with one of her 14-year-old students. Here's a link that goes to a hub of articles about the case and her recent television appearance with Matt Lauer.

Interesting to note is the fact that Debra Lafave received no actual jail time for having sex with her student. I've heard reports that it was because she was deemed too pretty to be in jail, where she would in all likelihood become a professional prison salad tosser or at least the prison tricycle (everybody gets a ride). However, that's not why I think she didn't get any jail time with her sentence.

I think it was because I remember what it was like to be a 14-year-old boy myself. In all likelihood there's a "victim" out there who gets to constantly brag to his buddies about how he got to have sex with Debra Lafave, a beautiful woman. I wish some beautiful woman would have had sex with me when I was 14-years-old so that I would have had something to brag about to all my buddies. I was socially awkward and pretty much single for most of my life up until I was... wait a fucking minute, I'm stil socially awkward?!?! Shit!

But then I thought about Michael Jackson, the last older white woman who was accused of having sex with a boy of around that age. To me, the accusations of him/her molesting a boy were more grave than the beautiful 23-year-old woman, so I thought why not go through my thought process for everybody on blogspot? That way I can make a jack-ass of myself and figure out why the allegations against Michael Jackson, while similar to the allegations against Debra Lafave, are more heinous.

Fuck it, I guess it wasn't that hard for me to figure out. Have you seen Michael Jackson? If I was a 14-year-old boy I probably wouldn't brag about having sex with a washed up woman like Michael Jackson because she really isn't a very attractive woman at all. So, then, is what Debra Lafave did a crime if the victim is bragging about being the victim of the crime? Probably, but it sucks. It just doesn't seem right for her to be punished if that was case, but you do have to abide by the laws of the land I suppose. They're there for some fucking reason or other.

But then, what about Michael Jackson. Well, maybe if she were to make a set of breast implants out of her recycled noses she might not invoke enough fear to be accused of impropriety so much.

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