Monday, April 17, 2006

Finally The Proof That Religion's Been Waiting For

Before I begin, 15 days until 10,000 Days hits shelves

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I've broached the subject of religion before, but never with a lot of depth because it's a difficult subject to get into really. It's nothing short of enthralling watching the world evolve around scientific advances and seeing the evolution of religion to accomodate those scientific advances. Just when you think that religion has had the last nail driven into its coffin, they adapt their stories to keep themselves relevant to their followers. What's more is that organized religion is still a powerful force in this world despite all of the advances we have made as a species.

Anyway, enough bullshit. The big head-to-head battle in the world with regards to religion is spirituality versus science.

Now, for me, the big problem is that religion's heavyweight champion, the number one poster boy has never materialized to disprove science once and for all. What's odd is that God, the heavyweight champion I allude to, is omnipotent, all-powerful. If God wants to put the smackdown on his opponent it's no big deal, he just bats his eyelash, if deities have eyelashes, and kapowza, you're a corpse! All these years, though, science has been making with the trash talk and the God camp has been pretty much powerless to counterattack because God has never actually materialized long enough to say, "Hey bitches, stop talking smack before I turn your mamas into newts!"

So, then here it is. The WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment for the uninitiated, has plans for God to not only materialize, but for him to face WWE President Vince McMahon in a match.

What gets me, though, is that the religious leaders seem to be against the prospect of God stepping into the ring against Vince. You see, for years science has wanted proof that God exists. Well, there you go, assholes! He exists and he's going to kick Vince McMahon's ass! You'd think that anything that shows God as being capable of wrestling would be welcomed by the church. But nooooooo... Some guy could see a burn mark on a burrito that looks like Jesus if you tilt the burrito just right and the church is all over that saying that it's definitive proof of the the existence of God, but when God wants to beat up Vince McMahon suddenly it's sacreligious.

Is the church afraid that God can't beat up Vince McMahon? Could it be that wrestling is fake? Naw, that can't be it.

But here it is, folks. What I really want to say, if the people who write the storylines for wrestling want to have Vince wrestle God, what's the real big deal? If your god is going to smite anybody who makes a mockery of him what's it going to do to hurt you? In fact, if God did smite the wrestling writers for having him go toe-to-toe with Vince wouldn't it be a great way to say, "I told you so." Secondly, having been an avid viewer of pro wrestling for the better part of my life I can't see God's appearance being a regular thing. As a wrestler, God will probably go the way of the Gobbly Gooker (look it up if you must). 98% of sane people acknowledge that the goings-on in wrestling are scripted for entertainment purposes. Are you really concerned that those 2% of people who believe it's completely real are going to believe that Vince could take on a deity in a wrestling match? Are those 2% the kind of people you want to have in your religion? I didn't think so.

So just let them do what they want to do and if they get smited, roast some marshmallows over their burning carcasses.

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