Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Stay Away From My Daughter!

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While browsing on Fark today I found this amusing little story about Basic Instinct 2's own Sharon Stone.

While shopping in Britain one day Sharon Stone happened upon a young girl trying clothes on with her mother. The girl was trying on some rather provocative outfits and her mother was visibly apprehensive of the message such outfits might send about her daughter. Anyway, the mother stepped away for a few moments and Sharon Stone, being the superhero that she is, took it upon herself to approach the young girl and talk to her about sex, advising her to just dispense with blow jobs if she wasn't comfortable having sex yet at that stage in her life.

Now, I admit, I've never been to Britain. I'm sure that in the streets of London it's perfectly normal for 48-year-old milfs to approach complete strangers and just talk about sex. I guess that's what makes Europe so damned progressive. Bam, you're walking down the street one day and some strange woman approaches you to ask if she can shove a dildo up your ass and hang her hat off of it. Those crazy Europeans! Here in Canada we're just a tad on the more conservative side when it comes to talking about sex with total strangers. If I approached a young girl and told her that giving out blow jobs is definitely the way to go in life I'd be updating this blog from jail.

I think that the lesson here is that if you see any sexpot celebrity approach your daughter you should probably just mace him/her first and ask questions later because before you know it you're daughter will just blow some guy who's just walking by. Sure, she might be more popular with the guys who are walking by, but think of her breath at the very least. Is it really in your breath mint budget to have a blow job happy daughter?

Now the other thing that I was drawn to in this article is a comment that Sharon Stone makes about Sienna Miller possibly stepping into the role of Catherine Tramell, Sharon Stone's role in the first two Basic Instinct movies, for a possible third installation of the series. In essence, Stone says that Sienna Miller isn't even woman enough to get sodomized by Catherine Tramell let alone play her in a movie, or words to that effect. Notice I didn't use quotation marks in case you're planning on suing me for libel. In actuality, she called Miller a "silly girl" and incapable of handling a character like Catherine Tramell.

What gets me about that statement is that Basic Instinct and Basic Instinct 2 are not movies that are going to be regarded as classics years from now. Sorry to say it. Ask yourself, if the producers of the series were to remove all the nudity would the movies be as successful with audiences? If you answered yes to such a question, get yourself sterilized because you owe it to the human standards for generations to come. Oh sure, Basic Instinct had that famous scene in which we see Sharon Stone's cooch in an interrogation, but can anybody tell me what the hell happened in the plot? No? That's because the whole movie was built around the crotch shot.

So to say that Sienna Miller is incapable of handling a character like Catherine Tramell stupid. It's the equivalent of saying that she's not able to flash her cooch or her rack in a movie that will ultimately wallow in mediocrity with or without copious nudity.

You know, and maybe I'm wrong about the Basic Instinct series. I just didn't think that the first one was that good to warrant a sequel. Given that I just don't think that a sequel to a movie could be so good that it would warrant a third movie. Which means I could very well be wrong here since the sequel is about to be released and now there's talk of making a third one. If I'm wrong I apologize and I welcome you to defend your beloved movie in the comments section.

1 comment:

Emerson_Emergency said...

Have you seen the preview for "United 93" yet?

Question to ask: "When IS the right time?"