Movie Exec 1: Holy fuck we gotta do something about our box office revenues! Fewer and fewer people are coming out to see our movies.
Movie Exec 2: You don't think it could be our continued policy of translating shitty television shows for the big screen, do you?
Movie Exec 1: No, don't be a fucking retard! People love to see television shows make the jump to movie screens. I mean the line-up for tickets to the premiere of "CHiPs: The Movie" has been there for three weeks prior to it even opening. I read stories of people literally camping out for days in front of multiplexes just waiting for the "CHiPs: The Movie" posters to be plastered to the wall. Those were just the fucking posters, man! Movie translations are a gold mine because the audience is fucking stupid.
Movie Exec 2: Amen to that. What do you think we should do then?
Movie Exec 1: I do have a hot theory as to what will shoot the revenue right through the fucking roof.
Movie Exec 2: You're killing me with suspense. What is it?
Movie Exec 1: We need to find a way to show even more commercials before the movie starts. People love watching commercials. They're fucking stupid.
Movie Exec 2: You're a fucking genius!
There, do you see how the logic of the world works now? The movie executives really have their audiences pegged, don't they? I know from my own personal experience I only go to movie theatres to see the 10 minutes or so worth of commercials before the movie actually begins. It's not like there's anywhere else for an honest man like me to get his fill of vapid advertising. Hell, it's almost at a point now where I don't even stay for the movie because my appetite for entertainment has been sated by the latest Sprite, Nissan, and Canadian Armed Forces commercials. It's really great to see that they are going to add even more commercials to the screening schedule.