Thursday, October 27, 2005

And Then Some Celebrities Are A Little Too "Down-To-Earth"

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My last post dealt with how some of our beloved celebrities (we love them, don't we?) make the most ludicrous demands of hotels they plan on staying at, which could easily one to believe that these celebrities all have overdeveloped egos. And then today I get this shit.

Yes, that's right, Paris Hilton fucked her new boyfriend in a porta-potty according to insiders. At this time I'm going to be skeptical of the story because she hasn't actually bragged about it herself in the media. I'm sure, though, that if it is true it'll become chic to take your lovers into porta-potties and fuck the shit out of them.


I think it's fucking gross to fuck anybody in a porta-potty. I know I've ranted about people who have problems taking a shit in public washrooms before, but playing horsey on your lover's schlong in an outhouse goes well above and beyond the stigma of that public washroom B.M.

I know what it's like to be so turned on by somebody that you could literally have sex in some pretty strange and disgusting places like the back seat of a Volkswagen, behind a dumpster, on top of stack of old newspapers outside your neighbor's house before the garbage men make their rounds. But come on, a fucking porta-potty? Now granted, all I know of where this happened was that it was at a Hollywood party, and I don't know much about Hollywood, but couldn't you get a fucking cab to take you someplace other than a porta-potty for sex? You are a fucking Hilton, aren't you? Don't your folks own a hotel you could go to for some naked fumblings?

I also know what it's like inside a porta-potty from numerous years spent at summer concert festivals in Camrose. Porta-potties are definitely not a place that I would even think about having sex in. Sure, it's kinky, but the smell is enough to wilt tulips let alone a penis. Paris' new boyfriend must be into some hardcore shit in his sex life or he doesn't have a fucking sense of smell. I mean wouldn't lighting up a cigarette for that post-coital bliss ignite the fumes in one of those things?

I guess the message is that some celebrities are so out-of-control when it comes to egomania and then there's Paris Hilton.

She'll fuck in a porta-potty.

They really do come in all shapes and sizes, don't they?


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