Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Viagra Makes My Nose Stop Working? Oh Nose!

Click here.

A German research team has discovered that larger doses of Viagra can cause a decrease in a man's ability to smell things. Viagra, for those of you who just woke from a 30-year-long nap, is the pill that men can take to get erections for hours on end. The reason why the pill also decreases the ability to smell is nasal congestion.

While this may seem like a drawback to Viagra I think it's quite the opposite.

But Michael, the sense of smell is a wonderful thing. Why when I pop a Viagra and make some quality time with my special lady I like to have a lot of those aroma therapy candles burning not only for mood lighting, but also because the smell is transportive and it's ceases to be us just "making love" and it becomes two souls really "bonding".

Seriously, who the fuck talks like that?

Viagra inhibits my abiliy to smell? Good!

Okay, first off, don't get me wrong. Sex is good and all that, but Viagra hard-ons last quite a while. And I don't give a fuck who you are, after hours of sex, something in that bedroom is going to smell not quite right. If I can't smell it because I'm on Viagra that's a good thing. It can stink and stink and stink and the only person who has to deal with that stench is the woman? Bonus! Maybe if the smell is strong enough it will be incentive enough to have that orgasm she's always bothering me about so we can get the fuck out of the bedroom and into some place with fresh air or soap and water for our naughty bits.

But, here's another way to look at Viagra. Instead of it being strictly a pill for erectile disfunction it can now be marketed as a pill for people who have to work in smelly environs. I mean, take the lowly sewer worker. He goes to work each day and all he gets to smell is shit. What does he do down in the sewers? Nobody really knows, but in addition to doing whatever that is he also has to breathe. I can't imagine being a sewer worker because I just don't have the constitution to deal with that smell.

But now? Oh shit, just bring it on. I'll pop Viagra like Pez just so I don't have to smell anything.

But Michael, won't you also have a huge erection that won't go away?

Yeah, but so what? It's just another hook for me to hang tools off of while I'm sloshing around down there in the sewers.

But what about the people who have to work with you?

Those people are just going to have to give me a wide berth in which to work. Oh no! You mean I won't be able to spoon my fellow sewer workers without it turning into a gay thing? Damn! Besides, if I happen to encounter a willing woman down in the sewer (hey, it could happen; I saw documentaries on sewer prostitutes in one of those third world nations) then it's always go time. Thanks to Viagra I can't smell fecal matter and I'm ready and willing for any sewer prostitute I encounter.

And consider this...would your coworkers bug you to borrow your tools if they knew where those tools were just hanging from?

I didn't think so.

Viagra: The Hard-On Stimulator AND Smell Inhibitor.

I'm a marketing genius.

1 comment:

N Pakan said...

Way to look at the bright side.
Maybe you should go into marketing. You always have the most...um...creative ideas!

~Nicole