You're Never Too Young To Start Manufacturing Crack

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Yep. Somewhere in Pennsylvania, some elementary school students have been suspended for the manufacturing and distribution of "Happy Crack." What is "Happy Crack" you ask? Well, it's Kool-Aid crystals mixed with sugar by these enterprising junior Tony Montanas and distributed in plastic bags.

Wait a minute. What the fuck?

Kool-Aid crystals? Perfectly legal.

Granulated sugar? Perfectly legal.

Kool-Aid crystals And granulated sugar? Suspension material.

What the fuck?

Okay, sure, one could argue that meth is manufactured from a lot of perfectly legal components, but come the fuck on, Kool-Aid crystals and sugar? I could probably inject that shit raw into my veins and maybe, just maybe, I'll be a bit hyper for an hour.

What's the street value of that shit anyway? Maybe $0.50 for 30 lbs? I'm just guessing here, but this certainly is a very poor drug dealing operation at best.

And I know that you're probably thinking that I'm admonishing the educational system for suspending students for this. But you know what? I'm all for the suspensions.

You have to teach kids right and "Happy Crack" just isn't going to ween addicts off of their other joneses. It's a slap in the face for the education system when they can't even get their students to start a profitable drug distribution ring. You have to suspend those little bastards so that next time they'll get it right.