Baby Papa Drama

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In what can only be described as surreal, two men have stepped up to the plate so far claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby with a third man claiming to have been asked to be the willing (or unwilling) sperm donor. Naturally, these men are all being portrayed as men after 15 minutes of fame by the website I linked to for the article.

And you know what? That's fucking stupid.

Why is that stupid, Michael? Don't you think that the average guy could look at the unknown identity of the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby and see an opportunity to get a bit of notoriety at least for a little while?

Of course I think that. I just think it's fucking stupid.

Okay, so you have two guys stepping up to the plate on this one so far. Do you know what that means? One of these guys might very well have received the other's sloppy seconds. Think about it, only one of these guys could have had sex with Anna Nicole Smith first, that means that the other would have had to have had sex with her after the first guy. Now, since they both obviously had sex (allegedly) with her around the time that her little bundle of headline-seeking attention was conceived, one guy may very well have had the other guy's sloppy seconds.

And I think that's how the headlines should read from now just so that the media discourages any further men who think of claiming to have had sex with her just for the fame of being able to say that they had sex with a washed-up celebrity. I can almost read that headline now:

SOME ASSHAT HAD ANOTHER ASSHAT'S SLOPPY SECONDS WITH ANNA NICOLE SMITH:
HOLLYWOOD STUNNED BY THE REVELATION THAT ANNA NICOLE SMITH MAY HAVE HAD SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE MAN IN HER LIFETIME!

Although, you know? Maybe getting some fame now isn't such a bad thing. I could use some fame to really launch myself into that writing career I've always wanted. Publishers may be clamoring over each other to hand out book deals to these asshats and I'm missing out.

Maybe the best way for me to become an author is to step forth and claim responsibility for Anna Nicole Smith reproducing.